Aug 5, 2005

Is it live or is it Memorex?

This is terrifying:

Ladies and gentlemen, that's a wax figurine of Miss Simpson. One which is completely indistinguishable from the "starlet" herself. And one that likely contains less plastic. Jessucka was just the cohost of "Live with Regis and Kelly" and the same dead-eyed, Jaws-Wide-Open look never left her face. Even though Kelly Ripa proved herself to be quite a sly, stone-cold bitch by dissing Jessica repeatedly to her face with such a "ha!, we're joking because we're gal pals" layer smeared on top of a "I will cut you" undercurrent. All Jessica could do was laugh, smile, insert a half-thought and continue on without either realizing that she was getting slammed or being too feebile to manage even the slightest banter back.

My point is that it's not just her looks, it's her very personality that makes her so beyond fake. You can gaze and gaze but there's no there there. It's like looking at those burnt-out shadows of where objects should be after a Nuke blast.

Or you could believe your own eyes:

The amazing thing is that "I put the 'ho' back into 'house of wax' " (hi, Paris!) and this jackhole dude have more chemistry than she demonstrates with Nick Lachey these days.

ETA: Hmm, ohnotheydidnt just now wrote about this a day later. But you heard it here first!

And GFYself totally started with the "real or wax jess" a day or two later. TINFOIL HATS!

1 comment:

Sticky Keys said...

How come I didn't know that was a wsx JSimp? Not because it looked real, but because she looks so plastic now...