Apr 13, 2006

does UPN even *have* a standards & practices dept?

Cases in point, both from Veronica Mars:

Last week's episode, Plan B. (roughly)

Veronica to Weevil: "It's not time for Plan B just yet, Dirty Harry."

Weevil: "In case you haven't noticed, I ain't no mick cop."

Veronica: "Dirty Sanchez?"

OH. DEAR. LORD. What the hell, is this HBO?

From this week's, I Am God.

Dick Casablancas: "Sometimes you don't need the prettiest horse, just one that will let you ride bareback."

And no, I'm not linking because you can find gay porn on your own time. Tune in now, y'all, before the CW move renders this show much more sanitized in the post-Gilmore slot.

On the subject of shows to watch, AMC/BBC's HU$TLE is awesome and a sheer delight. It's pure entertainment, funny, extremely cinematic and stars the most gorgeous, charming black man this side of Taye Diggs. It's like Ocean's 11 on a weekly basis and *now* networks are bringing out Heist and whatnot. Seriously, tune in -- it's as effortless and enjoyable as a glass of champagne, minus the hangover.

Apr 9, 2006

the thing about rejection is...

You feel like a fucking reject afterwards.

Sigh. Look, I know that certain situations aren't ideal and I shouldn't take it personally. But god/Xenu help me, I do. Completely hypothetically, one of this situations would be, say, posting a Craigslist ad, getting a response and having a guy come over (after a good deal of back and forth-ing via email).

30 minutes later, guy arrives, guy calls, guy is downstairs.

I go downstairs, open the door, the guy says "it's okay' and just fucking walks away.

No explanation, no apology, nothing Not one goddamn thing.

What the hell, dude?

Seriously, I sent a picture, you made the drive -- what did you fucking expect?

Should I not have been wearing sweats? Should my hair be shorter? Should I have come down holding a football and a fucking Maxim to butch it up for you?

Honestly, I don't think beggars can be choosers at 4 in the morning.

And yet, I take it personally. Which says more about my state of mind than anything else. Because god forbid it should be his problem because he's probably a fucking weirdo cokehead or something. Nope, it's *my* fault. If there were a crime scene and I was standing next to the person holding a bloody knife, I'd probably find a way to blame myself for being a bad influence and not preventing the murder.

Any wonder why I want plastic surgery at 25? If it's good enough for Jessica Simpson...

And yes, I may have been told I had "movie star looks" a mere 48 hours earlier. But I didn't believe them -- the rejection, the outright snubbing? That I believe in.

Because the thing is, I never had to rely on my looks growing up. So I don't have the practice for it. Don't have that confidence in my skin. But now? I want to rely on those looks. I'm tired of being funny, being smart, being charming. Being one of the few guys in the bar who could manage a decent conversation, who could banter with the best of them.

Yep, six years in LA and I'm broken & bruised enough to give up and join the beautiful people.