Aug 1, 2005

Dear Hollywood -- Look at how Trendsetting I am!

It's become obvious to me that my friends and I have some brilliant, trend-setting taste -- essentially, we're trendy and rich and famous without having the benefits of money or power or whatnot.

Case in point: The Broadway Bar. It's right by the Orpheum (or is partly inside it?) and is from the creators of the old, reliable Golden Gopher. The interior is gorgeously dark and oak-y, with black-and-gold brocaded wallpaper, an indie-heavy jukebox, et cetera. The first time I went there with Krystal, about three and a half weeks ago, it was notable for two things.

1) A bad, bad bartender lady. How bad? She served Krystal a Salty Dog straight-up in a martini glass. And granted, she did ask Krystal, who wasn't paying attention enough to answer but still. Even worse? She asked a guy what was in an Irish Car Bomb. How incompetent can you be? It's really unfair and troubling because I see people like this gainfully employed in the bartending arena yet I am not. And I would be the best bartender ever -- in part because I'm flirty and partly because I'm a lush.

2) The complete and utter lack of people. Maybe fifteen people in the entire bar, including bartenders. It was a barren, post-apocalyptic wasteland, with booze.

The next time? Still barren, only with a cameo from Frodo himself. Good god, Elijah Wood is both extremely short and possibly heterosexual. He was there with a cute-ish girl. Krystal harassed him using the "you look familiar - did we go to school together" bit?

This past Saturday, it was packed. Brim-filled with hot hipsters and tarts. Alas, Krystal was too tired to mingle. I did finally get to see the upstairs, though, and I highly recommend the couch. Balcony is kind of lacking, view-wise, unless a dilapadated board-up building counts as scenic.

Many moons ago, Mitzye and I wished to visit the Hollywood Roosevelt hotel. In part due to the ghosts of Marilyn Monroe and Montgomery Clift -- man, what sad, depressing, drunk/pill-popping ghosts those must be. But now Mitzye can't even get it because there's a list and Lohan is all sunbathing at the pool. Defamer claims that the renovator/promoter lady says that she wants "really great, interesting people"

Umm, hello? We're right here. Sigh. If I am going to be a trend-setter, I want the trappings (money, power, influence, groupies) that come with that. I'm tired of just giving it away for free. So would all restauranteurs, club-owners, hotel moguls and such please be advised that if you want success, you have to court me first.

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