Oct 16, 2005

You can fool some of the people all of the time...

But I sure as hell ain't one of them!

I wasn't aware that in addition to being a scientologist and an actor, Tom Cruise was a world class magicia -- sorry, illusionist (thanks, Gob) -- now watch as he makes his own baby disappear!

Wow, this satin-y blouse sure makes Katie look pregnant. And look at that belly button popping out. Must be a baby in there! A baby created by sweaty, heterosexual love-making in the missionary position (no kinky stuff -- Tommy ain't no pervert). How dare you doubt them and their love! Katie's own aunt, who mysteriously we've never heard of before now and who just happened to release a press statement after rumors that the Catholic Mr. Holmes was displeased at Tom for creating a baby out of wedlock and whispers that Tom's publicist/sister issued a letter attempting to silence the family's local parish, this upstanding aunt told us that the baby was created the old-fashioned way and nothing is wrong with Tom's plumbing. Why, yes, she does actually moonlight as his urologist and would be able to verify such information.

Why would you deny the world of the glorious TomKitten?

Maybe because this picture was taken 3 weeks after the above one.

Let's do a side-by-side to make this clearer:

Where did the bump go? Did Katie learn nothing from her high school sex ed class where she had to carry their "baby" (read: sack of flour) with her at all times?

There's absolutely nothing or suspicious at odd about this union or the pregnancy and I have no idea how you could even deduce such a thing. Honestly, doesn't that say more about the state of your sick, sad mind and your inability to believe in love than anything else?