they say it's your birthday....

The object of my inexplicable worship, Lindsay Morgan (Dee) Lohan is 21 today.

Too bad she can't celebrate like I imagined she would. I had a fantastic vision of hookers and eightballs everywhere, shirtless men writhing in cages, a Svendka vodka fountain...

Oh, well, she got sprung from Promises long enough to buy an Iphone, so I'm still jellus.

Do a shot or snort a line in her honor, dear readers. Or come up with a LOLhan Macro.

Meanwhile, I have to think of 8 interesting things about me. This may take a while.

K. and I came up with a tribute drink to her during a Deadwood marathon, so if you want to get completely schnockered, the "La Lohan" is the drink for you:

Start with a Red-Headed Slut:

• 1.5 ounces of Jagermeister
• 1 of Peach Schnapps
• A good splash of Cranberry juice.

Now to make it "La Lohan" -- which means more booze, please.

• Add some Whiskey. However much you're thinking of adding? It's not enough. Add more. It's not like you have a problem or anything. Really.
• All of the above should be going into a shaker with plenty of ice. Shake the fuck out of it and pour into a rocks/highball glass.
• Top it with a floater of Bacardi 151. If you're feeling really daring, why not ignite it? Add some fire for Miss Firecrotch!
  

Fair warning: 151 is very flammable and so the igniting might not be the best idea. But neither is getting behind the wheel. Or starring in Herbie:Fully Loaded. Drink at your own risk.