Cases in point, both from Veronica Mars:
Last week's episode, Plan B. (roughly)
Veronica to Weevil: "It's not time for Plan B just yet, Dirty Harry."
Weevil: "In case you haven't noticed, I ain't no mick cop."
Veronica: "Dirty Sanchez?"
OH. DEAR. LORD. What the hell, is this HBO?
From this week's, I Am God.
Dick Casablancas: "Sometimes you don't need the prettiest horse, just one that will let you ride bareback."
And no, I'm not linking because you can find gay porn on your own time. Tune in now, y'all, before the CW move renders this show much more sanitized in the post-Gilmore slot.
On the subject of shows to watch, AMC/BBC's HU$TLE is awesome and a sheer delight. It's pure entertainment, funny, extremely cinematic and stars the most gorgeous, charming black man this side of Taye Diggs. It's like Ocean's 11 on a weekly basis and *now* networks are bringing out Heist and whatnot. Seriously, tune in -- it's as effortless and enjoyable as a glass of champagne, minus the hangover.
Apr 9, 2006
the thing about rejection is...
You feel like a fucking reject afterwards.
Sigh. Look, I know that certain situations aren't ideal and I shouldn't take it personally. But god/Xenu help me, I do. Completely hypothetically, one of this situations would be, say, posting a Craigslist ad, getting a response and having a guy come over (after a good deal of back and forth-ing via email).
30 minutes later, guy arrives, guy calls, guy is downstairs.
I go downstairs, open the door, the guy says "it's okay' and just fucking walks away.
No explanation, no apology, nothing Not one goddamn thing.
What the hell, dude?
Seriously, I sent a picture, you made the drive -- what did you fucking expect?
Should I not have been wearing sweats? Should my hair be shorter? Should I have come down holding a football and a fucking Maxim to butch it up for you?
Honestly, I don't think beggars can be choosers at 4 in the morning.
And yet, I take it personally. Which says more about my state of mind than anything else. Because god forbid it should be his problem because he's probably a fucking weirdo cokehead or something. Nope, it's *my* fault. If there were a crime scene and I was standing next to the person holding a bloody knife, I'd probably find a way to blame myself for being a bad influence and not preventing the murder.
Any wonder why I want plastic surgery at 25? If it's good enough for Jessica Simpson...
And yes, I may have been told I had "movie star looks" a mere 48 hours earlier. But I didn't believe them -- the rejection, the outright snubbing? That I believe in.
Because the thing is, I never had to rely on my looks growing up. So I don't have the practice for it. Don't have that confidence in my skin. But now? I want to rely on those looks. I'm tired of being funny, being smart, being charming. Being one of the few guys in the bar who could manage a decent conversation, who could banter with the best of them.
Yep, six years in LA and I'm broken & bruised enough to give up and join the beautiful people.
Sigh. Look, I know that certain situations aren't ideal and I shouldn't take it personally. But god/Xenu help me, I do. Completely hypothetically, one of this situations would be, say, posting a Craigslist ad, getting a response and having a guy come over (after a good deal of back and forth-ing via email).
30 minutes later, guy arrives, guy calls, guy is downstairs.
I go downstairs, open the door, the guy says "it's okay' and just fucking walks away.
No explanation, no apology, nothing Not one goddamn thing.
What the hell, dude?
Seriously, I sent a picture, you made the drive -- what did you fucking expect?
Should I not have been wearing sweats? Should my hair be shorter? Should I have come down holding a football and a fucking Maxim to butch it up for you?
Honestly, I don't think beggars can be choosers at 4 in the morning.
And yet, I take it personally. Which says more about my state of mind than anything else. Because god forbid it should be his problem because he's probably a fucking weirdo cokehead or something. Nope, it's *my* fault. If there were a crime scene and I was standing next to the person holding a bloody knife, I'd probably find a way to blame myself for being a bad influence and not preventing the murder.
Any wonder why I want plastic surgery at 25? If it's good enough for Jessica Simpson...
And yes, I may have been told I had "movie star looks" a mere 48 hours earlier. But I didn't believe them -- the rejection, the outright snubbing? That I believe in.
Because the thing is, I never had to rely on my looks growing up. So I don't have the practice for it. Don't have that confidence in my skin. But now? I want to rely on those looks. I'm tired of being funny, being smart, being charming. Being one of the few guys in the bar who could manage a decent conversation, who could banter with the best of them.
Yep, six years in LA and I'm broken & bruised enough to give up and join the beautiful people.
Nov 11, 2005
Fuck da children...
No, seriously, fuck the children.
Okay, not really and not in a Michael Jackson (a.k.a "FUBAR") way, but kinda...
But I'm more than a little pissed off by Toyota's decision to pull ads from 'Nip/Tuck' (the greatest show evah! or on now) thanks to the efforts of the retarded PTC, who seem to have nothing better to do with their time than drum up protests from their devotees and trick networks and advertisers into thinking that hundreds of people are outraged at the filth pouring forth from their screen...
When in reality, it's like a half-dozen people sitting around, tracking violence and language and sex on television all day with the kind of obsessive single mindedness of the perverts they decry. No, seriously, there was some case, which I can't remember specifically at the moment, where the network discovered that a hundred 'complaints' they received actually only came from 3 people, writing over and over again.
Okay, it was Fox's crap reality show 'Married by America' - this excellent article points out that Fox got a 1.2 million dollar fine based on 90 complaints. But all but three of those were generated using the exact same form letters from the PTC -- which they put on their website and encourage people to send out, expressing dismay at show's content they may (and likely) have never even seen.
The article mentions the whole Towelgate fiasco -- in our TV class, Marc Cherry basically said it was a similiar situation -- it was days before someone complained, a small minority raised a lot of fuss and made it seem like it was a bigger deal than it was.
Back to 'Nip/Tuck', there are so many reasons why the PTC can go fuck itself and da children:
1)It's on a 10 p.m. at night, on a Tuesday. If your young, impressionable children (as opposed to teens, who the show would be appropriate for if they watched with parents) are up that late on a schoolnight, watching filthy TV behind your back...well, you got bigger fish to fry than trying to shield them from Julian McMahon's ass.
2) It's rated TV-MA. There are content advisory warnings. I know this because F/X airs them approximately every five minutes like a nagging mother -- 'hey, are you sure you wanted to be watching this? Are you sure? Well, it's dirty and potentially offensive and if you're offended. Don't come crying to me because I told you so...' Hey, PTC, if the network tells you point-blank that something may be offensive, what kind of gall does it take to act affronted and shocked when you are offended.
3)It's a dark show intended for adults but has never represented itself as anything else. A cursory glance at any review or interview or article will mention the show's graphic content and dark, satirical tone or describe it as "cutting-edge" or mention the controversy.
4)Millions of taxpayers' time and money were spent installing V-Chips on all our TVs. The show also airs on cable and the majority of boxes have parental lock codes as well. Groups like the PTC demanded these restrictions to protect the children without compromising a network's ability to air whatever content it pleases but have now decided to just try to restrict content since parents are too lazy or stupid to figure out how to work that technology.
Maybe it's the censorship class that I'm in raising all this anger, but I am so fucking tired of everything in our society having to be neuteured based on this stupid myth that children are all goodness and light and they must be protected at all costs (even if that interferes with the rights of society's non-children havers), lest they see a split-second of Kimber's breast and in that moment, instantly lose their innocence.
I must give props to Charles Taylor, writer extraordinaire and husband to my favorite critic, since he says a lot of this better than I could in his article 'The Morality Police'.
-----------------------------------------------------
In non-angry rant news, I was dubbed 'socially awkward' last night with the further explanation that 'I talk so much and about myself and never let anyone else talk and no one cares about such & such,' etc, etc. And I thought it hurt hearing that from Adam, but from my best friend? Damn. In my defense, though, it was a very socially awkward situation...which will all be explained later or not, depending on how things turn out with the person (besides me) who made it awkward and confusing.
And look, I know I'm no good at these things. I feel so out-of=place, sometimes. I know I'll never have that easy-breezy-beautiful frat boy confidence that I see on campus. But my brief stint in popularity around freshman/sophomore year couldn't have just been a weird fluke, could it? Okay, yes, because everyone is popular freshman year, but I'm saying I knew how to play the game then or was better at it or something. And maybe dropping of the face of the planet, having a brush with near-madness and living in isolation for a year or two aren't the best things for one's social skills...
It's my sister's birthday and I'll always envy her that she is much better at socializing than I.
Question? What does it mean when you invite a boy up and then he says he doesn't want to kiss you because he thinks he is getting a cold? Oh, we do anyway and it's really nice, and if he actually calls (I know, right?), it just may be worth it. I don't know if I want a relationship or anything, but he seemed like a cool/nice guy -- I mean, we actually managed to have an intelligent conversation. In Akbar, of all places.
Plus, at least I know he's gay unlike awkward-making people. *sigh*
Okay, not really and not in a Michael Jackson (a.k.a "FUBAR") way, but kinda...
But I'm more than a little pissed off by Toyota's decision to pull ads from 'Nip/Tuck' (the greatest show evah! or on now) thanks to the efforts of the retarded PTC, who seem to have nothing better to do with their time than drum up protests from their devotees and trick networks and advertisers into thinking that hundreds of people are outraged at the filth pouring forth from their screen...
When in reality, it's like a half-dozen people sitting around, tracking violence and language and sex on television all day with the kind of obsessive single mindedness of the perverts they decry. No, seriously, there was some case, which I can't remember specifically at the moment, where the network discovered that a hundred 'complaints' they received actually only came from 3 people, writing over and over again.
Okay, it was Fox's crap reality show 'Married by America' - this excellent article points out that Fox got a 1.2 million dollar fine based on 90 complaints. But all but three of those were generated using the exact same form letters from the PTC -- which they put on their website and encourage people to send out, expressing dismay at show's content they may (and likely) have never even seen.
The article mentions the whole Towelgate fiasco -- in our TV class, Marc Cherry basically said it was a similiar situation -- it was days before someone complained, a small minority raised a lot of fuss and made it seem like it was a bigger deal than it was.
Back to 'Nip/Tuck', there are so many reasons why the PTC can go fuck itself and da children:
1)It's on a 10 p.m. at night, on a Tuesday. If your young, impressionable children (as opposed to teens, who the show would be appropriate for if they watched with parents) are up that late on a schoolnight, watching filthy TV behind your back...well, you got bigger fish to fry than trying to shield them from Julian McMahon's ass.
2) It's rated TV-MA. There are content advisory warnings. I know this because F/X airs them approximately every five minutes like a nagging mother -- 'hey, are you sure you wanted to be watching this? Are you sure? Well, it's dirty and potentially offensive and if you're offended. Don't come crying to me because I told you so...' Hey, PTC, if the network tells you point-blank that something may be offensive, what kind of gall does it take to act affronted and shocked when you are offended.
3)It's a dark show intended for adults but has never represented itself as anything else. A cursory glance at any review or interview or article will mention the show's graphic content and dark, satirical tone or describe it as "cutting-edge" or mention the controversy.
4)Millions of taxpayers' time and money were spent installing V-Chips on all our TVs. The show also airs on cable and the majority of boxes have parental lock codes as well. Groups like the PTC demanded these restrictions to protect the children without compromising a network's ability to air whatever content it pleases but have now decided to just try to restrict content since parents are too lazy or stupid to figure out how to work that technology.
Maybe it's the censorship class that I'm in raising all this anger, but I am so fucking tired of everything in our society having to be neuteured based on this stupid myth that children are all goodness and light and they must be protected at all costs (even if that interferes with the rights of society's non-children havers), lest they see a split-second of Kimber's breast and in that moment, instantly lose their innocence.
I must give props to Charles Taylor, writer extraordinaire and husband to my favorite critic, since he says a lot of this better than I could in his article 'The Morality Police'.
-----------------------------------------------------
In non-angry rant news, I was dubbed 'socially awkward' last night with the further explanation that 'I talk so much and about myself and never let anyone else talk and no one cares about such & such,' etc, etc. And I thought it hurt hearing that from Adam, but from my best friend? Damn. In my defense, though, it was a very socially awkward situation...which will all be explained later or not, depending on how things turn out with the person (besides me) who made it awkward and confusing.
And look, I know I'm no good at these things. I feel so out-of=place, sometimes. I know I'll never have that easy-breezy-beautiful frat boy confidence that I see on campus. But my brief stint in popularity around freshman/sophomore year couldn't have just been a weird fluke, could it? Okay, yes, because everyone is popular freshman year, but I'm saying I knew how to play the game then or was better at it or something. And maybe dropping of the face of the planet, having a brush with near-madness and living in isolation for a year or two aren't the best things for one's social skills...
It's my sister's birthday and I'll always envy her that she is much better at socializing than I.
Question? What does it mean when you invite a boy up and then he says he doesn't want to kiss you because he thinks he is getting a cold? Oh, we do anyway and it's really nice, and if he actually calls (I know, right?), it just may be worth it. I don't know if I want a relationship or anything, but he seemed like a cool/nice guy -- I mean, we actually managed to have an intelligent conversation. In Akbar, of all places.
Plus, at least I know he's gay unlike awkward-making people. *sigh*
Oct 16, 2005
You can fool some of the people all of the time...
But I sure as hell ain't one of them!
I wasn't aware that in addition to being a scientologist and an actor, Tom Cruise was a world class magicia -- sorry, illusionist (thanks, Gob) -- now watch as he makes his own baby disappear!
Wow, this satin-y blouse sure makes Katie look pregnant. And look at that belly button popping out. Must be a baby in there! A baby created by sweaty, heterosexual love-making in the missionary position (no kinky stuff -- Tommy ain't no pervert). How dare you doubt them and their love! Katie's own aunt, who mysteriously we've never heard of before now and who just happened to release a press statement after rumors that the Catholic Mr. Holmes was displeased at Tom for creating a baby out of wedlock and whispers that Tom's publicist/sister issued a letter attempting to silence the family's local parish, this upstanding aunt told us that the baby was created the old-fashioned way and nothing is wrong with Tom's plumbing. Why, yes, she does actually moonlight as his urologist and would be able to verify such information.
Why would you deny the world of the glorious TomKitten?
Maybe because this picture was taken 3 weeks after the above one.
Let's do a side-by-side to make this clearer:
Where did the bump go? Did Katie learn nothing from her high school sex ed class where she had to carry their "baby" (read: sack of flour) with her at all times?
There's absolutely nothing or suspicious at odd about this union or the pregnancy and I have no idea how you could even deduce such a thing. Honestly, doesn't that say more about the state of your sick, sad mind and your inability to believe in love than anything else?
Aug 8, 2005
It's almost Shakespearian in its poetry...
So, Calliope and I reunited last Sunday. Sure, she may just be using me for her Buffy fix because I got her completely addicted, but I love her anyway. We venture to Swork because Kay needs our company-slash-is using us to bring her food.
Anyways, it's been like a thousand degrees in LA, so a blended beverage seemed like the frosty, reasonable choice. Kay claims she can do a strawberry shake but that's another one of her lies. Because the gelato was raspberry. Point being, she orders me up a specialty shake. Mitzye and I are counter-bound, waiting for our refreshments.
I notice the boy baristas talking while fixing my shake.
Me: Why are they making fun of my milkshake?
Callipe, with complete deadpan sincerity: Because it brings all the boys to the yard?
I still have no words, people. No words.
Anyways, it's been like a thousand degrees in LA, so a blended beverage seemed like the frosty, reasonable choice. Kay claims she can do a strawberry shake but that's another one of her lies. Because the gelato was raspberry. Point being, she orders me up a specialty shake. Mitzye and I are counter-bound, waiting for our refreshments.
I notice the boy baristas talking while fixing my shake.
Me: Why are they making fun of my milkshake?
Callipe, with complete deadpan sincerity: Because it brings all the boys to the yard?
I still have no words, people. No words.
Aug 5, 2005
Is it live or is it Memorex?
This is terrifying:
Ladies and gentlemen, that's a wax figurine of Miss Simpson. One which is completely indistinguishable from the "starlet" herself. And one that likely contains less plastic. Jessucka was just the cohost of "Live with Regis and Kelly" and the same dead-eyed, Jaws-Wide-Open look never left her face. Even though Kelly Ripa proved herself to be quite a sly, stone-cold bitch by dissing Jessica repeatedly to her face with such a "ha!, we're joking because we're gal pals" layer smeared on top of a "I will cut you" undercurrent. All Jessica could do was laugh, smile, insert a half-thought and continue on without either realizing that she was getting slammed or being too feebile to manage even the slightest banter back.
My point is that it's not just her looks, it's her very personality that makes her so beyond fake. You can gaze and gaze but there's no there there. It's like looking at those burnt-out shadows of where objects should be after a Nuke blast.
Or you could believe your own eyes:
The amazing thing is that "I put the 'ho' back into 'house of wax' " (hi, Paris!) and this jackhole dude have more chemistry than she demonstrates with Nick Lachey these days.
ETA: Hmm, ohnotheydidnt just now wrote about this a day later. But you heard it here first!
And GFYself totally started with the "real or wax jess" a day or two later. TINFOIL HATS!
Ladies and gentlemen, that's a wax figurine of Miss Simpson. One which is completely indistinguishable from the "starlet" herself. And one that likely contains less plastic. Jessucka was just the cohost of "Live with Regis and Kelly" and the same dead-eyed, Jaws-Wide-Open look never left her face. Even though Kelly Ripa proved herself to be quite a sly, stone-cold bitch by dissing Jessica repeatedly to her face with such a "ha!, we're joking because we're gal pals" layer smeared on top of a "I will cut you" undercurrent. All Jessica could do was laugh, smile, insert a half-thought and continue on without either realizing that she was getting slammed or being too feebile to manage even the slightest banter back.
My point is that it's not just her looks, it's her very personality that makes her so beyond fake. You can gaze and gaze but there's no there there. It's like looking at those burnt-out shadows of where objects should be after a Nuke blast.
Or you could believe your own eyes:
The amazing thing is that "I put the 'ho' back into 'house of wax' " (hi, Paris!) and this jackhole dude have more chemistry than she demonstrates with Nick Lachey these days.
ETA: Hmm, ohnotheydidnt just now wrote about this a day later. But you heard it here first!
And GFYself totally started with the "real or wax jess" a day or two later. TINFOIL HATS!
Well, there goes my non-innocence...
Thanks to StickyKeys, I checked out ohnotheydidn't this very early morning (late night, whatever, semantics) and feel so bummed out:
[image ganked from Getty, obviously]
Hell to the nah.
Let's all be greatful he's still hung like a horse, okay? To think that Owen is the one with the stallion-based nickname. If anyone would like to send evidence, reports, him to my house to confirm this rumor, that'd be great.
Because it helps to focus on a happy place. Other than the fact that I need to gain (yet more) weight so that I can wear that incredible suit. It's so gorgeous that I wouldn't even want him to step out of it -- which may be good, considering the girth Vince is displaying, and not the fun girth either.
In completely unrelated news, I bring you two recent items of note from some celeb boards:
From the BI Thread, from 7/31's NYDN:
To quote Brittany Murphy: "I've never even seen cocaine."
[image ganked from Getty, obviously]
Hell to the nah.
Let's all be greatful he's still hung like a horse, okay? To think that Owen is the one with the stallion-based nickname. If anyone would like to send evidence, reports, him to my house to confirm this rumor, that'd be great.
Because it helps to focus on a happy place. Other than the fact that I need to gain (yet more) weight so that I can wear that incredible suit. It's so gorgeous that I wouldn't even want him to step out of it -- which may be good, considering the girth Vince is displaying, and not the fun girth either.
In completely unrelated news, I bring you two recent items of note from some celeb boards:
From the BI Thread, from 7/31's NYDN:
Which actor, shooting a film opposite a certain tabloid-fodder actress, is popular on the set, even though he needs a break between each take to accommodate his monster cocaine habit?We also happened to discuss "coke bloat" on the "Everything You Wanted to Know About" thread. If anyone else has more info or scientific theories, that'd be awesome. For research purposes, of course.
To quote Brittany Murphy: "I've never even seen cocaine."
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