ask and ye shall receive....

Well, that was weird.

No less than 24 hours after having an insatiable curiousity about Gay Zombies, MySpace has a banner ad for this "mockumentary" [please, someone, banish that word] entitled American Zombie. The tagline?

"We're here. We're dead. Get used to it."

Stop INVADING MY BRAIN, universe! This hat is made of the *really good* tinfoil, okay?

Meanwhile, in non-Gay Zombie news -

Last week, I was depressed. The kind that needs industrial-sized Manhattans and impulse buying in grocery stores. I went to get Maraschino cherries and their sweet juices for said Manhattans. I ended up with a shit-load of nacho ingredients. Along the way, I spied this:
I hate to go all CopyRanter because he'd dissect this better than I, but I have to.

Vertigo is many, many things, such as:

• A side-effect of this blog, along with dry mouth and unquenchable bloodlust.
• One of Hitchcock's finest works.
• A so-so U2 song [even after the brilliant explanation by Jane Avril, the "uno, dos, tres, CATORCE!" *still* bugs. Said explanation is that the band went back to the same producer for their 14th album as they did for their 1st-3rd. It's a giant shout-out to Steve Lillywhite that annoys almost all who hear it. Plus, the video took place in a Target ad.]

But it is NOT - NOT a good name for a candy lollipop. Even one that tastes like a massively artificial chocolate-covered strawberry. I can picture some exec thinking that naming a candy "Vertigo!" is, like, totally rad and is an X-TREME candy or whatever. And then I hate them.

What remaining hate I have is directed toward ABC and their fucking new Jimmy Kimmel campaign smeared over seemingly every bus in Los Angeles.


The ad reads "Be A Good American. Jimmy 5 Nights a Week."

What. The. Fuck?

Besides having an ear-splitting radio ad that changes Franz Ferdiand's "Do You Wanna?" into "Do-Do-Do You-Do You Do You Jimmy?," ABC is under the belief that if you throw enough money into it, slang will come.

No. You can't just INVENT verbs from proper names!

And then USE them with disturbingly masturbatory over/undertones [i.e. "12:05 am - Time to Jimmy."]

And you especially can't do this with a word that is already a verb [i.e. "jimmy a lock."]

What the hell is WRONG with you?! I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT A NETWORK LIKE THIS!!

Seriously, I was indifferent to Mr. Kimmel beforehand. Now? Filled with white-hot hatred.